iirresistable temptatiions...

Your skin.

Your touch.

Your smell.

Your smile.

Your voice.

Your look.

Your swagg.

Your stubborness,

&& your ignorance;

tempt me in the greatest and strongest way possible. So much that at times I find myself wanting to give in; wanting to have that feeling and connection we once shared. Your like crack and I'm the addict. Each hit I take makes me worse and worse; it kills me faster and faster, but yet I keep craving more.

His eyes.

His lips.

His face.

His body.

His confidence.

His kindness.

&& his respectful attitude

makes him the irresistable man one dreams of. Scared of this change for it may become my new addiction. If I take a hit; can this new drug make me feel like the old one did? Can it make me feel better than the old one did?

I'll never know unless I take that chance. I'll chance my happiness for ecstasy, and that crack for something that can do the trick.

a new beginning

New things are beginning to happen. I'm slowly meeting new people, and I've been learning how to let the old ones go. No need for the extraness (i think i jus made that word up). Nothing but forward from here. I'm tired of looking back and wishing things could have been different. If we always lived based on our past, we'd never really live at all. That is why I wanted to be able to let go. Let go of all the bull-ish, and the people who ever did me wrong. The bad; the sad, and just live. The past is the past because without it, we would never know what to look for. What happiness we seek, or the hurt we try to avoid.

your last hit

You've made your choice, and that was clear from the start. Why I put up with it for so long, who knows. Maybe it's because I wanted to feel loved. But I've never heard of a love where you hurt the one you "love" repeatedly. It's funny because the 1st man I ever loved NEVER did any of the things that you did to me. At most he made me fight with time. With you I was fighting for everything, and in the end it was all bullshit. One by one you kicked to the curb the only real people who gave a fuck about you. I was the last to suffer from the hit in which I could have dodged. From here on, I'll just sit on the bench with the others and watch the game go on. After all there is only so much you can say. Screwing over all the players on your team, until there's only you.

Ooooo wait. [It is]