I Step Down..

From here on I step down. I can no longer put myself through this. I realize that I do more than I need to, I think more than I should, and it controls me. It's troublesome thinking if this is the right choice for me. If I should try my final try.. because I'm no quitter. There's so many things I want to say, but it's not my place. So many things I would love to do, but there's NEVER a right time. Every long road has its obstacles, but I feel like this one is never-ending. One step forward, and ten steps back. This has been a long and bumpy road, and while walking it I've felt so far behind. Will we ever reach harmony? People come into our lives, but they don't control our fate. People come into our lives, and we can never tell who to keep and who to let go.

DECIDE.

It's no fun taking this long walk and having no one to talk to. It gets lonely. I can only pretend for so long, and I'm tired of imagining. Pull me close. Hold me tight, and take this journey with me once and forall. My mind, body and soul grew so weary. Come the next road block..

I'll turn back.

Mixed Emotions

Should I stop?
Should I proceed?
What happens now...?
Then?
Not again!
I thought this was done..
I should rethink this..
One more time?
I hope this works.

Too many mixed feelings, and emotions.

Good vs. Bad

Happy vs. Sad

Love for vs. Once hated

Where do I draw the line..?

New beginnings ?

Secrets.. Lies.. Or things just untold.. With hope that each time you speak, some truth is told. What's done in the dark will always come to light.. but little do you know some light is always shed on the situation. With new beginnings should come new attitudes, a new outlook.

New start ?

Reassure me that it won't have the same ending..

New beginning, but the end feels so near.

Enlighten Me

Don't make me wait any longer. Tell me what's on your mind. Tell me what I need to know. Enlighten me with something I HAVEN'T already heard.. maybe something more like a reason. If not then we start our next convo with a "Hello" then a "nice knowing you" and end it with a "goodbye."

Perfectly Sane

I am not crazy.
I am not delusional..
Me.. I am perfectly sane.
One thing I am NOT is a pretender.
Pretending ain't my thing, never had a knack for it;
but you.. perfected it
for a pretender knows how to be what he is not.

So the next time you call me crazy, just what was going through your head?

Remember those actions, those words, and crazy things you did? and as a friend..

Retrace those steps, and relive again.

If I recall, you hadn't the slightest clue of what went on in my brain.

Until you walk my shoes, and strut my strut,

you will not know me.

Call me what you like.. but me

I am P E R F E C T L Y . S A N E

distant me..

Trust is something I've always struggled with, and with reason.

How can you even attempt to get things right when so much wrong has been done?

How can those closest to you betray your whole perspective of them.

What ever happened to respect, love, trust, and honesty..real?

Time does tell, and time does change. Time allows distance.

Distance is my sanity. Distance is my freedom. Distant I am.

..there are ways to be found.

..in the hands of a real friend.

..distant me won't reach for that hand,

for it is unfamiliar.

romantically numb

i feel nothing. i see nothing. i hear nothing. this was nothing. you are nothing.. but a lie. a figure of my imagination.. it's jus a whole bunch of nothingness. love is nothing. my heart is full of nothing. because i'm numb. romantically numb. someone bring me back to life.

a general note

fuck love. fuck relationships. fuck ___ (fill in blank) ..it`s no longer my problem.

over time..

Get mad, cry, breathe, stretch, shake, vent &&... jus let it all go. Live and let live. Doing what I have to.

so basically you meant

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ... that jus about sums it up :)

Reality

I'm in love with a bitch. Some might not like to hear it, but it's true.. can't help who you love, but I jus might have to..

you forgot me.

you forgot about me. you forgot who i was. you said you'll never forget about me and you did. should have known, because your words are like toxic vapors; they come out and they're deadly because they dont mean anything. they do nothing but hurt and decieve. you literally took your last hit, and for that i'm good. && to think i was about to give you my last words. I see now that you're not even worthy of those. The future, the future, the future is all i'm hearing. How can there be a future when you already forgot about me. as soon as your hand touched my face you forgot. maybe i wasnt even really there. not only do i think you forgot me, but you forgot who you were and lost everything. So now when you think of me....DON'T. because YOU FORGOT.